@kumailn: I wouldn't say I'm emotionally needy, but I do set the thermostat real low so my cat has to huddle with me for warmth.
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@InternetHippo: BAND: How’s everyone doing tonight!! [crowd goes nuts] ME (standing in the middle, normal voice): Ok I guess. Kinda tired.
@o__0Dev: Whenever I have a panic attack I put a paper bag over my mouth & once I'm done drinking the alcohol inside I feel a lot better.
@TheRolo: And on the 8th day, God almost created Lionel Richie but was all like "Naw, I'll just hold off a few thousand years then one day HELLO!"
@Tommytoughstuff: [Olympic Swimming] CANADIAN ANNOUNCER: I feel bad for the water look how hard they're kicking it.