@KKAlThani: I wouldn't take a bullet for you but I'd definitely push someone in front of you to take it for you. Same thing.
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@Just_Lee_: It took 11 years but hubby can finally read me like a book. A Greek book. Read upside down wearing a blindfold. It's a vast improvement.
@whatmaddness: "I'm not like other girls," I say, clacking my pinchers and scuttling back into the murky lagoon.
@JohnLyonTweets: *approaches woman in club* Me: Would you like to dance? Her: Sure. Me: While you're dancing can I sit in your chair? I'm really tired.
@crushingbort: They put babies on packages of toilet paper because that's what we used to wipe with before scientists discovered they grow up into people