@jonnysun: "ice, ice, baby. ice, ice, bab--no ice-- no thats definitly a babey" - man who has a job sorting babys and ice at the ice & baby factorey
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@ITomHorvat: When someone starts making fun of my air guitar skills I just whip out my finger pistols and it usually shuts them right up.
@VaguelyFunnyDan: (confronts Beck in line at Jamba Juice, holds up hurried sketch of Beyonce, aggressively does "Single Ladies" dance)
@Social_Mime: He is on that bird call website a lot. - My Mom describing me on twitter to older relatives at get-togethers.
@cray_at_home_ma: And on the 7th day God rested, but the children did not rest. So on Monday God made school and He sent the kids and all the people rejoiced.