@jonnysun: "ice, ice, baby. ice, ice, bab--no ice-- no thats definitly a babey" - man who has a job sorting babys and ice at the ice & baby factorey
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@Try2StopME: My girlfriend started complaining about my lack of interest in her family. So I dated her sister..
@MelissaJoy33: I'm sorry your husband of 50 yrs is dead. Here is a casserole made with Campbells Soup. ~White people.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: Check it out! I'm juggling! Wife: Me: Wife: You're supposed to use more than one ball. Me: Can't you just be happy for me?
@SleazySli: [at a spelling bee] Judge: Your word is SPELL. Witch: *mumbles something under her breath* Judge: Ribbit