@primawesome: I'd give these pigeons some bread but they'd probably just spend it on drugs.
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@Rlpihl: Noah: I need 2 of every animal Shark: even us? Noah: no, you can swim Unicorn: I'm pretty good at swimming Noah: go for it
@AndyAsAdjective: My daughter has recently become deathly afraid of our cat. So I'm going to have to get rid of her. At least I'll have my cat to comfort me.
@knot_eye: Me: You say all the right things. Her: I didn't say anything. Me: Shhh Don't ruin this for me.
@Lisabug74: One time I was really high and attempted to flush my foot down the toilet. There was no Twitter then, so I'm telling you now.