@attsmcjay: I'd imagine the only thing worse then getting your period is not getting your period.
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@pleatedjeans: [1st date] me: do you want kids? her: Yes me: GREAT [pulls 7 babies out from under table] HERE'S MINE HAVE FUN GOTTA GO
@Cunda22: I always wear a wet suit and goggles to the pub so I don't look like an idiot when I wake up on the beach in the morning.
@birbigs: Russian skater just explained that he is "not a robot," proving, of course, that he is a robot. #Olympics