@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'd love to hear an actor honestly answer the "How did you prepare for today?" red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes
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@heroofthehour: whenever I see "likes her own status" on facebook, a little bit of me dies and becomes a horcrux.
@timdonakowski: Naming your child “Roger” is fine, until you have to tell someone about it over a two-way radio.
@thatcarlygirl: Me: When I have a rough day, you're there. When I need to cry, you're there. Nobody helps me gain 10 pounds the way you do. Cheesecake:
@AimeeHelene1: They should make fortune cookies with more obtainable fortunes: You will vacuum the living room. You will run into the coffee table.