@JennyJohnsonHi5: I'd love to hear an actor honestly answer the "How did you prepare for today?" red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes
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@david8hughes: [interrogation] What were u doing last nite? I was killin my neighbour, Bert. Louder for the tape? [leans in] Fillin in paperwork. Busy guy.
@ThisCantBRight: I don't condone workplace violence, until someone microwaves fish in the break room.
@audipenny: Him: you look tired today Me: you look like you need a mouth that says better sentences
@StarWarsProblms: Officer: We're building the Death Star as fast as we can. Vader: I have new ways to motivate you. *implements margarita Tuesdays*