@HeyZeus666: I’d never snoop through my girlfriend’s phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password.
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@SatansTongue: (Selling my soul) Just sign here and here "I should have a lawyer read this" *a million lawyers crawl through hell* We have plenty of those
@Shira: Only in America would people violently trample each other for discounts, exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have...
@bigmacher: Ugly sweater day at work. I'm wearing a new, really nice expensive sweater but walking around saying "ugh, please, this old thing."
@lorigonzalez28: If you love someone, poison them a little bit each day. If they don't suspect you at all, they might be the ONE.