@WillSaysStuff: I'd pray to God to help me with my overbearing KFC addiction, but seeing as the Colonel is my God, I can see that being counter-intuitive.
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@iliezabeth: REPORTER: how does it feel that ur tweet got like 0 favs? ME: it made me laugh so I dont think its so bad R: how does it feel 2 be wrong tho
@AristotlesNZ: 3yo just yelled "face-five!" & slapped his brother in the face. I'm totally using that at work tomorrow.
@TheTimmyToes: me: how much per hour? babysitter: $15 me: okay here's $2.37 million see you in 18 years