@CheryeDavis: I'd rather my kid bring home head lice than another goddamn fundraising form.
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@electrolemon: yesterday at the mall a woman asked for my opinion between two men's shirts and immediately went to check out with the one i didn't choose
@WilliamAder: Read the tweet above this one and then the tweet below it. People paid FORTY-FIVE DOLLARS PER SHARE FOR THIS.
@WildeThingy: Louis Lane "there is no way broccoli is a superfood!" Broccoli *takes spectacles off* Louis Lane "My God! Look, it's a superfood!"