@Dawn_M_: I'd rather see a guy with a machete walking towards me than someone with a clipboard.
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@DominicStraw: I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
@stephenjmolloy: 'Keanu Can Canoe, Can You?' - instructional video in which actor Keanu Reeves teaches people how to use a canoe.
@Ygrene: *Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman all avoiding eye contact with Aquaman as he walks in to work & sees Michael Phelps sitting at his desk*