@Dawn_M_: I'd rather see a guy with a machete walking towards me than someone with a clipboard.
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@noog: Jesus: I have to die because of sin God: Yes Jesus: Which you created as punishment God: Yes Jesus: For eating an apple God: Yes Jesus: No
@Mr_Kapowski: Dogs that belong to homeless people must think "just say you're sorry dude and we can sleep inside tonight"
@fabulouscop: *man with beerbelly waiting outside elementary school* *teacher walks towards man* "are you expecting a child?" "no thats from all the beer"
@shkeeber: Her: You into S&M. Him: Sure. Her: Good. *ties him to bed post* Him: Oh yeah. Her: Ready...? Him: Torture me! Her: *plays Nickelback*