@Dawn_M_: I'd rather see a guy with a machete walking towards me than someone with a clipboard.
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@KeetPotato: [scrabble] god: 43 points angel: squid? wtf is squid? god: it's an animal angel: you can't just make up animals god: [jim-faces into camera]
@LoneWolfStories: Sometimes I like to surprise my neighbours by smiling and waving back at them.
@gogglepossum: [me sneaking to the bathroom at night to check twitter] Wife: what are you doing? Me [looking around for excuse] just...changing my tampon
@WilliamRodgers: "I could stay awake just to hear you breathing...Watch you smile while you're sleeping..." Aerosmith = Romantic Me = Restraining Order