@maughammom: I'd say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we're not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, ice dispenser..
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@Mothpete: The home cooked pizza box says to cook the pizza between 14 and 16 minutes. That's 15 minutes, right? I'm not reading too much into it?
@ashmensch: *steps on Lego* *stumbles backwards and trips over more Legos* *throws all Legos away* *Grandparents buy more Legos for Christmas*
@behindyourback: Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field isn't hiring.
@MichaelTrying: How many times does it have to be aliens before Scully believes? How many times does it have to be a guy in a mask before Shaggy doesn't?