@kelkulus: Idea for dieting: Fridges with mirrors.
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@joejwest: ME: Good date? FRIEND: Ok. Until he got undressed ME: Then what? FRIEND: [sticks out pinky finger] ME: Ah. Then he drank tea in a fancy way
@TomSchally: It's not a "junk drawer," it's a free-spirited drawer without expectations or limits.
@One_FineMess: 4yo: What happened to the fish? Me: It drowned. 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: ... Me: ... 4yo: Must have been a really stupid fish.
@Jabba_Jabba_Jaw: Me to Dr: I have no energy lately. Dr: you need to exercise more Me:... Dr:... Me: Let's start this again.