@HeyZeus666: If a baby like Justin Bieber is the face of teen angst and rebellion, then we've bubble wrapped our kids too tight.
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@theshantilly: If you don’t have plans tonight, head to a crowded restaurant, stand up during the meal, and say “She said yes!”. Free applause and dessert. You’re welcome.
@Turbo_Jimmy: I sexually identify with the noble panda; I too have difficulty having sex in a cage surrounded by 800 Chinese people
@NickBossRoss: Are we sure that we're supposed to look for a human to settle down with? Cause I'm discovering I have much more in common with this blanket.
@Adar79Angie: The security camera at work has "too many instances" of me acting like a dinosaur on film. And "any amount" is "too many." According to HR.