@WhiskeySoured: If a bear is chasing you, don't run. Be very still and tweet about it because you're about to die.
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@andreahardy33: Just realized the girl I flipped off in the parking lot is in my next class.. This could be awkward.
@jonnysun: *dinosaur at zoo roars at me* "ROAR" whoa wat kimd of dinosaur is this "GROWL" hmm "SHOUT" hmmm "YELL" hmmmmm "HOLLER" oh its a thesaurus
@Sassafrantz: Saw a couple wearing surgical masks in public and all I could think was "what do they know that I don't?"