@IngestMyBabies: If a cop tazed me and then yelled "Raiden Wins!"... I would instantly lose all animosity towards him.
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@NotthatAdamWest: Saw a bumper sticker that said 'Jesus is the answer.' Two cars later I saw one that said 'Who farted?' Best game of Highway Jeopardy ever.
@Rollinintheseat: Morgan Freeman is in so many movies, I bet he just wanders onto film sets and says,"I'm in this now."
@JohnLyonTweets: [dog trial] D.A.: Who's a good boy? Dog: *wags tail* D.A.: Then how do you explain the scattered trash? Dog: *ears droop* *jury gasps*
@Swishergirl24: This frozen meal expects me to know what wattage my microwave is like I'm some kind of wizard.