@Livsey1: If a crackhouse is filled with love, it becomes a crackhome..
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@badbanana: Yeah, well, I didn't exactly want to be late for work today either but it's not like hot wings can shave themselves out of chest hair.
@NoLuckWanted: A guy just offered to buy me a drink. I declined, but heard him say lesbo to his pal. I replied "Only for you, baby". Now he feels special.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What do you want to be when you grow up? 3-year-old: A monster truck. I don't think insurance is going to cover that surgery.
@KyleMcDowell86: [Girl from Willy Wonka turns into a blueberry] Wonka: Call in The Blue Man Group! [Blue Man Group rolls her out while singing Eiffle 65]