@Fred_Delicious: If a Facebook video says "you won't believe what happens next" then I replace "believe" with "care"
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@StephenBCramer: The bible says you can't buy your way into heaven but there isn't a church in the country that won't encourage you to try.
@carlyken: So far my toddler's most impressive defense mechanism is pooping his pants every time anyone rings our doorbell.
@Mr_Kapowski: The best part of Pitbull is he yells out "MR WORLDWIDE!," at the beginning of each of his songs, giving you ample time to change the station
@protolalia: If I were Jesus I would be seriously spooked by all the buildings with giant crosses.