@Fred_Delicious: If a Facebook video says "you won't believe what happens next" then I replace "believe" with "care"
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@Jesssicle: Some of you take selfies from so close up, I'm beginning to wonder if you're a T-Rex.
@dave_cactus: ME: Well, time to make like a tree, and leaf. HER: *giggling* So, my place or... ME: *starts sprouting leaves from my fingers* HER: WHAT THE
@shashaintl: 10's homework question: "Which appliance in your home do you think is the most useful?" His answer: "My mom."