@nolifecoach: If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
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@seanforhire: i noticed you didn't put interpretive dance on your gift registry but i went ahead and got it for you anyways
@MarfSalvador: me: [sneaking out of a funeral] this is DEAD boring lol mourner: [whispering] hey where's the priest going
@Laser_Cat: If you subtract all the sex robots those NASA nerds built, the moon landing only cost like eighty dollars.
@michaelianblack: How come my wife can't hold her bladder for more than three hours but she can hold a grudge for fourteen years?