@nolifecoach: If a girls tongue being pierced really mattered, then I would have my palm pierced!
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@ericbove: From now on when skinny girls say they're fat I'm just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
@Kyle_Raney: Subway Guy: Enjoy your sandwich Me: You too! Subway Guy: Me: Me: *gives him my sandwich* this is yours now
@Fred_Delicious: [penguin waddles into computer repair store] "Hi yes my laptop is frozen" ... Computer repair guy - "how did you get to Milwaukee"
@Chumpstring: I'm my own worst enemy, but there are literally hundreds of people tied for second place.