@ObscureGent: If a gorilla stole my girlfriend and started throwing barrels at a construction site, the last guy I'm gonna call for help is a plumber.
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@DanMentos: "my dad could beat up your dad" we're brothers you idiot *cut to dad stepping on rake, knocking himself out*
@_xLNc: My father once told me, "Son, if you want people to listen to what you have to say, claim it's something your father told you."
@MrsMikePatton: If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he become a werewolf permanently?
@Robinbuble: Carpenter ants are bullshit, I left a whole box of ikea furniture here, all they did was carry off my watermelon and steal a picnic basket