@ObscureGent: If a gorilla stole my girlfriend and started throwing barrels at a construction site, the last guy I'm gonna call for help is a plumber.
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@Extranaut: Indians will wait 25 years to have sex but not 25 seconds for the traffic signal to turn green.
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: What sound do dogs make? 3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses? 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs? 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.