@DeepDarkFear: If a group of lions is called a pride, then a group of humans should be called an embarrassment.
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@cambuslad: Someone with OCD visited my TL whilst I was napping and now all my tweets seem to be facing the same way.
@jonnysun: "the names bond, james bond" [5 min later] STARBUCKS BARISTA: i gota frappe for borbjorbple
@jordan_stratton: [boss finds pics of me snowboarding] "You missed work bc you said you were sick...& judging from these pics, YOU WERENT LYING" *fist bump*