@Playing_Dad: If a pregnant friend tells you what the kid's name will be just whisper "AND THE DARK LORD'S PROPHECY WILL BE FULFILLED." They love that.
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@JimCarrey: Time 4 the 3rd debate, the political eqivalent of driving past a street corner several times to make sure u choose the least skanky ho! ;^)
@KalvinMacleod: [Christmas] 6:30—kids are excited 7:30—kids are playing 8:00—kids are fighting 9:00—kids are crying 9:15—wife is yelling 9:30—I am drinking