@Playing_Dad: If a pregnant friend tells you what the kid's name will be just whisper "AND THE DARK LORD'S PROPHECY WILL BE FULFILLED." They love that.
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@SingleGirlAlert: Nowhere is it more evident That the middle finger IS a suitable mode of communication Than when driving to work
@wendyraepearce: I just caught my husband smiling in his sleep. He's going to pay for that later.
@mind_numb: I'm going start wearing a cape instead of headphones to deter people from talking to me.