@Playing_Dad: If a pregnant friend tells you what the kid's name will be just whisper "AND THE DARK LORD'S PROPHECY WILL BE FULFILLED." They love that.
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@Black__Elvis: They say the camera adds ten pounds so my girlfriend only needs to lose about four or five cameras before bikini season.
@NickSwardson: Thank god 4 the guy at the bar yelling "YOU GOTTA CATCH THAT!!!" when a receiver drops the ball. Had no idea he was supposed to catch it.
@Vodkantots: In hell, every day is Thanksgiving and you're never allowed to unbutton your pants.
@dundlewood: IF YOU THINK IM GONNA SMILE BECAUSE IT REQUIRES FEWER MUSCLES YOUVE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING. NO OFF DAYS, WELCOME TO FROWN TOWN, BABY