@SteveSuckington: If a shark attacks you, punch him in the nose. And if that doesn't work, use your severed arm to tickle his belly.
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@Jay16282: The self-checkout line was invented by a guy who was sent to the store to buy tampons.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: Her: What's your favorite part about being a stay-at-home mom? Me: Showering is optional Her: HAHAHA, be serious. Me: Ok, no drug tests.
@ddsmidt: My dentist told me to relax, then got all judgey about me uncorking my wine in his office. He needs to make up his mind.