@SteveSuckington: If a shark attacks you, punch him in the nose. And if that doesn't work, use your severed arm to tickle his belly.
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@Kyle_Lippert: If you feed your kitten Muscle Milk it will become a tiger in as little as 90 days or you get your money back.
@ericsshadow: Every year my wife buys me Christmas gifts I didn't ask for. Why would I need this many books about foreplay?
@Brampersandon_: Hey whatcha eating? "A pluot" Wtf is a pluot? "A cross between a plum & an apricot" That's really stupid. *rides off on a liger*
@TheHeartlessBoy: Congrats to Lindsay Lohan for successfully portraying what happens to mean girls after high school.