@UNTRESOR: If a tree falls in the woods it should break into a light jog so it looks like it did it on purpose.
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@rolldiggity: Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you're the valet. 3. Say yes.
@Iwriteforcats: [Travels back in time] Me: Abe, what do you think America looks like in the future? Lincoln: United as one nation... Me: Wrong! FATTER.
@ThisOneSayz: Unless you have stellar reflexes, throwing a bouncy ball at your spouse during an argument is not the best choice.