@UNTRESOR: If a tree falls in the woods it should break into a light jog so it looks like it did it on purpose.
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@HeatherLuvsYou: I always check my smoke alarms to make sure they're working. I call it "cooking"
@StellaRtwot: Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
@ArfMeasures: TORTURER: I'm gonna water-board u ME: Hahaha, where u gonna find enough water TORTURER: *takes Tupperware out of the dishwasher* ME: Oh shit