@PanicRestroom: If a vampire is also a doctor, an apple is as effective as garlic
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@Not_Uncle_Hoot: I made the kids put sunglasses on the snowman so he wouldn't have to make eye contact with the neighbors.
@LizHackett: I want my house to be tidy enough so that if someone drops by unexpectedly it doesn't look like we're six days into battling a poltergeist.
@scott_towel: When I was a child I dreamed of being an old west cowboy. When I grew up I realized they didn't have toilet paper with aloe.