@myvisable: If a woman is bad at parking it's because she is constantly lied to about what 8 inches is.
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@david8hughes: [first date] Me: that is hilarious Date: ... Me: wait, bread or dead? Date: how would my parents be bread?
@Amazon_Blonde: 911 what is your emergency? Me: "My 6 year old hasn't stopped talking since he got home" 911: "stay calm ma.. Me: MY EARS ARE BLEEDING
@WilliamAder: "Down" "Penetration" "Tight End" "Ball handling" Don't the networks have censors any more?