@tastefactory: If a zombie approaches you, bop it on the nose with a rolled-up magazine and say NO.
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@AudreyPorne: him: what do u wanna be? me: I wanna be a cat that transforms into a misty fog when people try to pet me him: wtf, I meant for Halloween?
@TuffyNyC: My ear is bleeding because I tried to shave it. Now I have to create some elaborate lie to tell ppl how I cut my ear.
@KKAlThani: Kids are fun to be around. Then they start kicking, screaming, drooling, crying, fighting and then you're just grateful they're not yours.
@OfficeofSteve: I always leave my vehicles gas on empty because I want thiefs to be as pissed off as my wife