@tastefactory: If a zombie approaches you, bop it on the nose with a rolled-up magazine and say NO.
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@bigmacher: Please retweet my son, it would mean a lot to him, apparently his mother's love isn't enough for him. #IfYourMomWroteYourTwitterBio
@glenna_opt: we all had to sign a card for a coworker thats retiring and i just wrote "please take me with you" in it
@HatfieldAnne: Did I tell you about the time I knocked down a kid with my bag on purpose? No? One time I knocked down a kid with my bag on purpose.