@aveuaskew: If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza.
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@hardlyrelevant: (in dog boss' office) "Smith, you're fired." Fine. I guess I'll just WALK out... (boss' tail starts wagging) "Wait Smith get back here"
@AndyAsAdjective: [checks Facebook & sees my 4th grade girlfriend has liked my hot chocolate recipe share] ME: I knew she'd come crawling back to me one day
@Smug_Lemur: Arguing w him is like playing Pictionary w/ the person who draws one weird little shape and just keeps circling it over and over and over.