@lilgapeach30: If an officer asks "do you know why I pulled you over" "Because it's the only way to get girls to talk to you?" is a bad answer, apparently.
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@SaraMansford: Steven King, Dean Koontz and Anne Rice have all announced their retirement stating: Nothing we write will ever be scarier than this election
@JimmerThatisAll: It's raining men because the aliens are returning the abductees in the most compelling way possible.
@UnFitz: Her idea of extending an olive branch was to sharpen one end first, then extend it REALLY hard.