@doktorj: If anyone needs me, I'll be spending the rest of my life under this bathroom light that gives my abs a hint of definition.
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@roadsidephil: Saw a "Toby Keith's I Love This Bar" that went out of business. Apparently he was the only one.
@briangaar: Son, that bear is more afraid of you than you are of ... oh wow, that bear is being really brave right now.
@kaytaa: Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo". I shouldn't laugh right?