@doktorj: If anyone needs me, I'll be spending the rest of my life under this bathroom light that gives my abs a hint of definition.
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@Carmel_Coleman: You're more likely to find something when you're not looking for it. Right now, I'm not looking for a bunch of cash. I hope this shit works.
@tourettzgoth: Keep an identical glass of vodka next to the glass of water on your bedside table for a refreshing morning game of Russian Roulette
@LostCatDog: I hope the next Adam Sandler movie has a wacky grandpa who uses "bae" all the time so you guys will stop thinking its funny
@Cheeseboy22: I always make it a point to become friends with babies. That's free cake once a year for a lifetime.