@dhumann: If by "crunches" you mean the sound potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.
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@patnspankme: A cashier could hand me a receipt & say “go online and fill out the survey and in a week they’ll deposit $10M into your bank account” and I still wouldn’t take the damn survey.
@DillDoes: *secret agent slaps me* I'll never give you answers *he grabs my throat* "WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA" *spits* I'd rather die
@KyleMcDowell86: [Friend] Kyle, u have to stop referring to your Ballet Club as a "gang" [Me & my gang all do 2 pirouettes and stop in unison] "Not a chance"
@soandrewyang: *at funeral* ME: I know how you feel FRIEND: Dont bring up the time you only got yel-- ME: One time I only got yellows in my Starburst pack