@teamsexydork: If cats could talk, they'd probably yell "PARKOUR" a lot.
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@MarlonBrandNO: [Baby trying to say first words] Baby: b..bu Me: cmon son Baby: bu..bu..s Wife: Yes sweetheart Baby: Bush did 9/11 Me[tearing up]: He knows
@Book_Krazy: Me: I'm worried that the romance has gone out of our marriage Hub: Bet I can change your mind during the next commercial break
@Sarcasticsapien: Congratulations, "journalists" who tell celebrity gossip for a living. I didn't know you could get a degree in teenage girl.