@teamsexydork: If cats could talk, they'd probably yell "PARKOUR" a lot.
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@MrsJekyllsHyde: Coworker: I don't even know what's wrong with me. *sighs Me: Oo Oooo pick me pick me I know *raises hand with answer
@Swishergirl24: If I tell you I can't text you because I'm driving it's only because I'm also eating.
@roostermustache: [on a date with a teacher] Me: your eyes are beautiful Her: yours too Me:*leans in, whispers* can i kiss you Her: i don't know CAN YOU