@iamspacegirl: if chickens exchanged goods and services for a fixed price it would be called chicken tenders have a great day
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@AnitaHelmet: Him: You're married? Me: Well, it's Thursday. So, yeah. Him: What about on Friday? Me: Depends how Thursday goes.
@thenoahkinsey: SOON I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOUR HEROES AND TAKE MY PLACE AS YOUR WORLD LEADER BUT FIRST WHAT IS YOUR MOM'S CASSEROLE RECIPE IT IS DELIGHTFUL
@SortaBad: *loses faith in humanity* "this is the type of problem that can only be solved by 13 photos of unlikely animal friendships"
@Bandersnaaatch: There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell.