@iamspacegirl: if chickens exchanged goods and services for a fixed price it would be called chicken tenders have a great day
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@jeffswarens: By the volume of the pans clanging in the kitchen. I think I'm supposed to go volunteer to help with something
@Death_Buddy: You sneeze, and a tiny book titled "A spiders guide to navigating the human brain" shoots out your nose. You faintly hear a spider cussing.
@Brampersandon_: NURSE: do you have any allergies ME: burnt bread NURSE: you're allergic to burnt bread? ME: yes I'm black toast intolerant
@peterjames48: Birth certificates need a popup dialog box: "Are you SURE you want to spell your kid's name that way?"