@iamspacegirl: if chickens exchanged goods and services for a fixed price it would be called chicken tenders have a great day
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@sofarrsogud: ME: Yeah, I've heard that movie. FRIEND: You mean 'seen' that movie. ME: Ha ha. No! I'm on twitter. I haven't seen a movie in 3 years.
@GringoBrulee: HR: Do you know why we called you in here today? Me: I'm not taking off my Batman suit, sir.
@SurreySlum: Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors.