@AGreaterMonster: If cupcakes could talk, boy, there sure would be a lot of screaming in my house.
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@Nawyourecrazy: Headed to a wedding and my guy friends told me to take pics of hot women for them. *selfies*
@Pspenny36: 7yo: mommy you smell like beer. Me: well, you smell like a bad idea that your dad and I thought could fix our marriage....now go to bed.
@xLiserx: Me: Can't. I'm exhausted from all the CrossFit this morning. Him: It's pronounced 'croissant' & how the hell did you eat the entire dozen?!
@TheTweetOfGod: Fear and ignorance would gay-marry each other if they weren't both opposed to it.