@michaeldean0116: If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader then she would be known as Ella Vader.......
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@timdonakowski: When your great-grandchildren call you racist for thinking all monkeys look the same.
@fuzzlime: I once dated a guy only because he had a cool hidden safe behind a painting in the hallway he kept the spare toilet paper rolls in there
@iamburtjarvis: what do you get when you cross an octopus with a human? thrown in jail for public indecency and banned from the aquarium for life.