@EricGoldie: If God is a DJ, life is a dance floor, and love is a rhythm, then you are on LSD.
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@summerofbenny: Did a little math tonight. Need to do 3,527 hours of cardio to get down to my ideal weight by summer, and not consume any calories.
@TheMichaelRock: *texting with my mom* Mom: I miss your handsome face! Me: Aww..thanks, mom! I miss you too! Mom: Sorry. Wrong number.
@AlexEllisdon: If I was in charge of SWAT I'd change the name to the "Special Weapons And Grenades" team just so police would have to radio in for SWAG