@EricGoldie: If God is a DJ, life is a dance floor, and love is a rhythm, then you are on LSD.
@noogscorner: When she stops crying and gets really quiet, keep your guard up. You're experiencing what scientists refer to as "the eye of the shitstorm."
@Parentpains: If you didn't want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder.
@sammontgomery: Forever 21... pounds overweight
@Bob_Janke: Women with horses are rich versions of cat ladies.
@SortaBad: Dating Tip:
Surprise the woman you are courting with a bouquet of cats