@WilliamAder: If HBO released all ten episodes of Game of Thrones at once, maybe I'd be able to remember the characters' names from episode to episode.
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@KentWGraham: How can my wife's hands not open a jar of pickles in the day, but become superhuman vice-grips at night when I want some covers?
@DamienFahey: "VROOM VROOM! VROOM VROOM VROOM! SCREECH!" - Entire script for Fast and the Furious 6
@: The doctor says I'm depressed because I don't have enough iron in my diet so I've started nibbling on the gun in my mouth.