@Ivsy01: If he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes and then hide from him so he can never break up with you.
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@iwearaonesie: [texting] me: I just left and I already miss you wife *typing response* me: (can you read that to the dog for me)
@PaperWash: 4 y/o: how does Santa go to everyone's house in one night me: warp speed 4 y/o: warp speed isn't real me: neither is Santa go to sleep
@sammyrhodes: Donuts are made from flour. Flour is made from wheat. Wheat is a plant. Plants are vegetables. Donuts are a vegetable.
@Wakenbake77: Nice beard bro looks like you just ate a bunch of lollipops then made out with your cat