@SCbchbum: If horror movies have taught me anything, it's lock up your butcher knives if your child addresses you as "mother" or "father."
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@slimmy_shady: Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might accidentally clean them?
@kwirkyKerri: You said you wanted a video of me eating a banana. Nothing about me not slicing it. YOU'RE WELCOME.
@yoyoha: 8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid.
@ImKevinito: Just saw a homeless guy fall asleep with a lit cigarette in his mouth. Which probably explains why he's homeless.