@LeonEarlgrey: If I am farther than you in candy crush I will automatically think im smarter than you.
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@phalguy: Realtor: This house here comes with a playroom Wife: Oh, the kids will love that! Realtor: It's not that kind of playroom Husband: Nice
@CDMEclairs: Angry Birds for Olympics: Instead of hitting two birds with one stone, here you can hit two stones with one bird.
@DannyZuker: My wife CLAIMS to be my best friend but she didn't seemed all that psyched when I bragged about this girl at work I just made out with.