@Sadieisonfire: If I answer yes maybe it'll finally come true
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@panmidwest: INTERVIEWER: strengths? ME: I'm good at presenting both sides of an argument INTERVIEWER: great ME: which could also be a weakness…
@Proxic0n: [Date] Me: So what goes in the bowl first, milk or cereal? Her: Trick question, I eat pizza for breakfast. *We just start making out*
@PaperWash: I'v been catfishing my best friend Dave for the last 3 weeks. He's gunna pay me that $50 he owes me or I'm showing these emails to his wife.
@carlyken: 9: Mom! Where's my Spiderman costume? I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why?" 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!