@Brianhopecomedy: If I applied for a job at the Vatican & they asked for my references I'd say, "Contact Him" while pointing up. HOW COULD I NOT GET THE JOB.
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@bergified: Send me your home address and I'll mail you a personal drawing of your favorite animal as long as its a buffalo.
@djdarrellripley: I'm the kindest, sweetest person you'll ever meet. However, if someone was having a seizure in my bathtub, I'd probably throw in my laundry.
@Douchekevin: Men don't ask for driving directions because we just don't want to arrive wherever you're making us go.
@Parentpains: My wife is acting like giving me the silent treatment for four days is a bad thing.