@WhrTheBrainRots: If I consider you a friend, I'll be there for you. With an ear, a shoulder, a drill, a shovel, an alibi - whatever you need to feel better.
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@abbycohenwl: I never thought I'd meet the man of my dreams while I was out running errands in sweat pants with no make-up on. And I was right
@MrsMikePatton: If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he become a werewolf permanently?
@FatherWithTwins: My mother-in-law came over and made me dinner, and now I'm wondering if I should have married her instead.
@behindyourback: *a friend tells me their problems* me: mhm, ok, have you tried eating about it?