@robo_junkie: If I could have any superpower, I would pick China.
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@LeslieInMpls: The cheapest way to make your lips look fuller is to trip on a dog toy, land flat on your face, then sit back and enjoy the swelling.
@JPHaddadio: Last year I ate out alone on Valentine's Day. To avoid embarrassment, I yacked the whole time with a lovely couple the next table over.
@BuckyIsotope: *doctor looks up* I'm afraid you have forgetting about 80's bands disease "Oh god what's The Cure?" *doctor sighs* It's worse than I thought
@KrazykurtKurt: I usually spend my Sundays texting apologies but I've had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do.