@robo_junkie: If I could have any superpower, I would pick China.
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@MikeOdenthal: Given how, when I try to eat a banana, I end up holding the peel while the actual fruit falls to the floor, I'm ok never handling a firearm.
@NoFlipFlops: Whoa. The house telephone thingy just rang. Couldn't remember what to do so I stopped, dropped and rolled.
@ConanOBrien: You can tell Charles Manson really loves his fiancée by the way he hasn’t murdered her.
@DavidAndRobShow: Bae: come over. Me: I'm doing the podcast. Bae: come over. Me: nah, I'm doin the podcast. Bae: my parents are out. Me: they can download it.