@IntoxicaTweeted: If I die, tell them to reconstruct me from sock DNA.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SaraMansford: I know Aladdin can't wish for more wishes, but why can't he just wish for more genies?--My 5 year old and future lawyer, probably.
@ClichedOut: Exec 1: We gotta improve our company image. E2: Hey, let's call customers at home. E1: At dinner, on Sunday. E2: But be pushy. E1: Perfect.
@toastymoe: Some people should be forced to carry a plant around with them, to replace the oxygen they waste.
@iwearaonesie: wife [on Facebook] Spent the day with the kids. We had so much fun! wife [to me] Do you know what those little shits did to me today?