@IntoxicaTweeted: If I die, tell them to reconstruct me from sock DNA.
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@Aman93deep: My sister is holding her baby in one hand and a cup of Starbucks in the other, I'm going to toss her phone at her to see who gets dropped.
@AIMMadellynne: Dear paranoid people who check behind their shower curtains for murderers.. If you do find one... What's your plan?
@lasergirl70: My dating history is like Halloween. People pretending to be someone they're not come looking for handouts, then move on to someone else.
@Dani_Feld: A man accidentally made eye contact with me on the train, so I left my shoe behind. And now, we wait...