@JermHimselfish: If I ever found a unicorn it would probably only be about 5 minutes before I put it's horn in my mouth.
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@GlumGeorgeLucas: I showed up at Disney headquarters uninvited I said I was there for a Rogue One cameo That's how I learned the security guards have Tasers
@Mardigroan: This gym has a very strict rule no denim jeans or jorts. But if you're 300 lbs of muscle & attitude, apparently it's merely a suggestion.
@Eightinchgoat: I wonder which lie came first: "Oops, wrong hole!" or "That's never happened before!"?
@oigoabuya: How to find out if you old. (Fall down in front of a group of people.) If they laugh, you are young. If they panic, you are old.