@JermHimselfish: If I ever found a unicorn it would probably only be about 5 minutes before I put it's horn in my mouth.
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@SingleVicky: I was really pissed at my boyfriend for not calling me all day. Then I remembered he's imaginary. So I'm good.
@Kyle_Lippert: MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism.
@P1ssed_K1d: My ex-girlfriend had weekly lessons with the devil on how to become more evil. I still don't know how much she charges him though