@TomHanksIsHot: If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like "oh yeah this makes sense."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@angibangie: *Husband buys me flowers* Me: Aw sweet, but don't waste money on things that are going to die. Him: But you keep buying the cat food.
@NewSATQuestion: #NewSATQuestions Starbucks messed up Kate's order. Kate's white. How done is she? a.) 100% done b.) 300% done c.) SO done d.) She can't even
@swandive2222: Yes, I've been in love before. I've also had salmonella poisoning and you don't see me running back for seconds.
@Cpin42: When I was 8, my best friend & I had a big fight. The next week his family moved away. Dave, if you're reading this, I still hate your guts.