@TomHanksIsHot: If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like "oh yeah this makes sense."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheToddWilliams: COP: Do you realize you were speeding back there? ME: Can you be sure it wasn't just the planet slowing down? COP: I'm listening
@FinnMcIver: I really hate it when people repeat something twice when making a point. don't do that guys, don't do that.
@jctwritesstuff: [Command Center] *opens map* *traces route* *marks intercept point* *drives* *waits* *target arrives *tackles* Liquor Delivery Guy: Again?
@KateWhineHall: A fun thing to do is sign your kids up for a class they're dying to take and then listen to them complain about it for the next 8 weeks.