@TomHanksIsHot: If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like "oh yeah this makes sense."
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@liv_thatsme: As a kid, I refused to sing "rain rain go away" because I thought God would punish us with an apocalyptic drought,so no, I'm not easy-going.
@Brianhopecomedy: They must have had a really good laugh when doctors realized that thermometers could be taken orally too.
@deardilettante: Him: why doesn't anyone want me? Me: I want you. Him: why doesn't anyone else want me?