@timdonakowski: If I ever meet someone who's been in a coma since 2004, I'm trying to sell them a USB drive for $150.
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@daplusk: [date] Me: Have you ever had it so deep your toes curl? Her: No, I'd love that Me: [pulls out 15th century poetry book] get ready Her: um
@WheelTod: "First gay marriage. What's next - people marrying dogs?!" *nervous glance at dog Dog: Frank, we've been over this. I like you as a friend
@Schmoodles: Don't talk to me about your drinking problems until you've tried to make your cat wear your contact lenses because he looked a bit squinty.