@UGotMeRight: If I ever run into Captian Crunch, I'm gonna punch him in the roof of his mouth.
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@bees_wingz: I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay.
@batkaren: LITTLE MERMAID 2016: SEA WITCH URSULA: Your voice is mine mwaahahaha!!! ARIEL: *flicks eyes up; keeps texting*
@Fred_Delicious: "Ok folks who ordered the macaroni & bees?" "you mean cheese?" [waiter struggling to keep bowl covered] "that does make more sense actually"