@WhiskeySoured: If I ever say, "Do you want me to be honest?" Say no.
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@CatherineLMK: Hey remember that snarky insult you threw my way three weeks ago? Well now I have comeback so please repeat it.
@TeaPainUSA: Conservatives say the problem is Christianity ain't taught in schools. The real problem is Christianity ain't taught in church.
@BCMontgo: What's the issue officer? Officer: You have no idea why I pulled you over? I have some ideas, but would like to hear your opinion first.
@funflaps: [portrait studio] ARTIST: I charge $50 per limb, because limbs are difficult to draw ME: How much to draw me from the side? ARTIST: That'll cost you an arm and a leg