@WhiskeySoured: If I ever say, "Do you want me to be honest?" Say no.
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@behindyourback: I'm rabidly against plagiarism, but I guess if you're going to steal something, a Columbus joke at least makes sense
@Barknado69: Friend: just make small talk *later, on date* Me: so...grains of sand Her: uh yea- Me: dwarves Her: are u okay- Me: bottle caps
@NicestHippo: "It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside" ME: Oh thank god "It's who you are on the inside" ME: Dang