@WhiskeySoured: If I ever say, "Do you want me to be honest?" Say no.
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@UncleDuke1969: Laugh, and the world laughs with you... Keep saying "LOL" out loud, and you'll die alone. (For Judy in Accounting)
@BackrowSeats: In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don't know how you eat that shit".
@garrettbarry70: There's nothing more exciting than waking up with a half eaten burger in your hand.