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@WhiskeySoured: If I ever say, "Do you want me to be honest?" Say no.
@yenniwhite: The hardest part of parenting is sharing the chocolate chip cookies. And your heart walking around outside your body. But mainly cookies.
@SCBamaMan: This Prius we rented is pretty sweet. It can go 0-60 in 6 hours.
@sportswithjohn: Commentator just said that the rain "may just be the tears of a heartbroken nation," which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of rain.
@sarcasticmommy4: I like to confuse my husband. So I smiled at him this morning.
@be_yourownhero: 10:00 am: sitting alone at work
10:05 am: my pudding cup is my new best friend
10:06 am: ate my best friend
10:07 am: sitting at work alone