@iGreenMonk: If I found out I only had a week to live, and could go anywhere in the world, I think I'd go to the hospital because that sounds serious.
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@WilliamAder: I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.
@Fruit_Slinger: I think weed is messing with my memory. I can't remember shit anymore! I think it's because weed is messing with my memory.
@SufficientCharm: My boyfriend thinks it's cute when I use the clap emoji but I've just been trying to tell him that I have an STD.